when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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