Banned from zoo.
Again?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
