I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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