Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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