Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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