??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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