my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
