We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
