Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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