The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
