If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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