I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
