i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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