im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We are two peas in an std pod
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
