Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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