i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
as a side note pls kill me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
