discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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