Do you still have your period?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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