Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As shirtless as possible
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
