Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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