The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
