We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
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I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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