Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
