Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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