okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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