I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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