This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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