At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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