somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How does one acquire holy water?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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