someone threw a dead crab at me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
