I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
