Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
