He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
