Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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