Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
