She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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