i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just high enough for therapy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
