So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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