If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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