May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
