They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
