I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize