great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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