I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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