I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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