you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
