hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
