my phone needs a breathalizer
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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