Dual....:-)
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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