I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize