dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
