hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
