Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
