I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
