is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize