is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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