Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize