Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize